TL;DR [HOW TO IMPROVE YOURSELF]: I think we all eventually reach a temporary period in our lives where we don’t feel satisfied with ourselves. We feel like we’re behind in life or that we’ve lost our spark. I’ve been on my self-growth journey for a few years now and I’ve learned some lessons I think you’ll be able to learn from. Keep reading to learn from my experiences and get some of my proven tips on how to improve yourself!
Are you tired of the version of yourself you’re currently living with? In this post, teach you how to improve yourself.
Are you feeling lost? Like you used to be the happiest person on Earth, then something changed? Was it a major life event or something someone said that changed the way you look at yourself?
That, my friend, could be a reason to start your healing journey.
When I started high school, I thought I’d become a whole new version of myself. I thought I’d make tons of friends, become a social butterfly, get involved in all kinds of clubs and activities, get out of my comfort zone, and flourish like no other. But let me tell you, that did NOT happen.
Starting sophomore year, it felt like everything was falling apart. It felt like I couldn’t control ANY part of my life, whether it was my finances, relationships, or mental health. Month after month, it was almost like I was in a movie theater watching my life crumble into pieces that you couldn’t reassemble — and after so long, I knew something had to change. I had to change.
On the way home from a doctor’s appointment, I went on my phone and flooded my notes app with all my thoughts and emotions. I knew I needed to change, but I was afraid to.
Since then, though, I’ve been actively progressing through my self growth journey. I can’t lie; there’s always ups and downs. Some days, I feel on top the world and others, I feel like I’ve taken 100 steps in the opposite direction. But I’m proud that I bit the bullet and embarked on this lifelong trek (and I can reassure you there are absolutely more ups than downs)!
If you’ve found yourself in my shoes, or are currently going through something similar, allow me to step up as your older brother. I’m here to share with you some of the most impactful lessons I’ve learned in my growth journey so you can finally get your spark back and live the life you deserve to live.
Are you ready, Star? Let’s do this!
This post is all about how to improve yourself.
What is self improvement?
There’s a common misconception of self-improvement, and as a personal growth writer, I believe it’s my job to clearly explain what self improvement really is.
When most people think about self growth, they think about those boring self-help books that give you all these pieces of advice that don’t encourage action. They (un)intentionally give you this information along with the unrealistic expectation that your life will change overnight.
Spoiler alert: it won’t!
Many of these books (and even podcasts) put things into an unhealthy, problematic perspective: that YOU are the problem. I’m still learning that if you view yourself as a problem, that in itself is a problem because you can’t just fix yourself like you’d fix a broken sink. You can’t just magically reverse the damage and act like nothing happened.
You have to continuously improve yourself by making small daily actions that ultimately shape you into a healthier version of yourself — a version with strong habits, consistent routines, positive mindsets, healthy relationships, and zero time for BS.
THAT’S what self-improvement really is.
And remember: there’s no such thing as the “best version” of yourself because ideally you should always be growing and evolving. You never want to reach a point where you’re done growing. Even if it’s something seemingly small like taking a 30-minute walk on a beautiful spring afternoon, you want to keep in mind that this is a lifestyle, not some short-lived social media trend.
So, why is self-improvement important? Why should I be interested?
Consciously improving yourself is one of the best things you can do in your life, and it’s so important for multiple reasons:
- you continue to heal and strengthen the most important relationship in your life (the one you have with yourself)
- you learn how to show up authentically and unapologetically in every area of your life (your career, relationships, personal interests, etc.)
- you learn more about the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with
- you learn to gravitate toward things and people that make you happy
- you learn about who and what your priorities are, and live accordingly
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You’ll learn overtime how impactful this journey is, and why it’s so important to invest in it.
Now that we’ve covered some basics, let’s get into the good stuff. Allow me to share with you some of the tips I’ve learned from my journey, and open up your mind to learn from some of these experiences.
How to Improve Yourself:
Before we get any further, I wanted to quickly touch on another common roadblock with self-improvement.
People tend to get overwhelmed with how many routines to build, habits to form, mindsets to change — trust me, I know it’s a lot. But that’s why you have to start SMALL. Choose one area of your life to focus on, paired with one small change.
Once you start making progress, that’s when I’d say you can move on to the next!
Let’s start with some short-term self growth tips. These are ones that you can start implementing today.
Usually when people say they don’t like self-help books, it’s because they feel like they didn’t learn anything that they can immediately start doing in their lives, so I’m giving you 6 changes you can make right now.
Short-Term Self Growth Tips
1 – Journal for your mental health
I’m always going to preach the importance and impact of journaling. I wholeheartedly believe that journaling is one the absolute BEST things you can do during your self-growth journey.
Why? Because your journal acts as a playground for all of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and ideas to live.
I have a pretty busy life and my mind runs 100 miles a minute, so it’s crucial I have somewhere to let everything out — especially as a college student and content creator.
If you don’t know what to journal about or where to journal, I have an entire self reflection category on my blog, so I encourage you to check some of those posts out.
2 – Read more often
I’m telling you: read, read, read! You’re actually doing it right now, so you’re already on the right track (hehe).
To some, reading may seem boring, time-consuming, or even, dare I say, pointless. BUT we’re not subscribing to those opinions, okay?
I feel almost as strongly about reading as I do about journaling, so you know it’s serious. Reading is great for a number of reasons, but I especially love it because it allows you to tap into your imagination, get away from your devices for a while, and build your vocabulary.
I find myself spending a rather unhealthy amount of time on my phone and laptop, so it’s really nice to have a screen-free activity to indulge in when I feel an incoming headache from the bright screens. On top of that, I’m a writer, so it’s always nice finding new words to use in my daily vocabulary and on my blogs.
My favorite books I’ve ever read are:
- “The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas
- “Verity” by Colleen Hoover
- “The Housemaid” by Freida McFadden
These are serious page-turners and they’re pretty quick reads, so I highly recommend giving at least one of them a read!
3 – Educate yourself
Along with journaling and reading, I’m super adamant about educating yourself.
Knowledge is power, and not everyone has the privilege to educate themselves. The more you know, the more you can do, and the more you can do, the more valuable you become.
With all the resources we have today, there’s no excuse to not learn something new every day. And I mean every SINGLE day!
I remember when I was a teenager (gosh, when I was a teenager? Ugh!) and wanted to be a pediatrician, I’d sometimes randomly search Google for fun facts about the human body. They were all so fascinating and I could easily spend an hour learning all kinds of fun facts. (Did you know the brain is the only organ that named itself? Fascinating, isn’t it?!)
You don’t have to go as far as to go to college. That’s definitely a good option, but you also have countless other resources, including Google, Reddit, TikTok, YouTube, books, in-person conversations, interviews, podcasts — I’m telling you, the list just keeps going on and on! With access to all these resources, you have so many opportunities to educate yourself and become a more knowledgable individual.
4 – Do a weekly self care or reset day
This is something I’m slowly trying to get back into.
Usually, you’ll people talk about a Self Care Sunday or Sunday Reset. No matter the day of the week, it’s practically the same concept.
I used to dedicate every single Saturday (I chose Saturday because it made the most sense in my schedule) to cleaning and organizing my environment, and preparing for the new week. Over time, I slowly stopped doing it because work consumed so much of me, but I’m excited to start doing it again.
It’s a great way to, well, reset and enter the new week with a fresh mind and a clutter-free environment. There’s really no better way to do it!
5 – Say affirmations
Affirmations are closely related to manifestation, which is an unbelievably powerful self-growth tool.
If you don’t already know, an affirmation is a declaring statement or phrase that you intentionally say to make a positive change in your life. Like the name suggests, you use these statements to affirm whatever it is you’re talking about. You usually say them in the mirror, either out loud or in your head (I’ve found that saying them aloud is more effective and grounding).
There’s all kinds of affirmations for every single aspect of your life, whether it’s finances, career, physical health, mental health, education, or relationships.
One of my all-time favorite affirmations goes a little something like this: “It’s not a matter of if it will happen, but rather when it will happen.” I love this one because it reinforces self-belief and self-confidence, and makes you a more positive, optimistic person.
6 – Learn to organize your life
I firmly believe that you can’t grow (at least not the way you want) if your space or mind are cluttered.
Just think about it: if you’ve got clothes all over your floor, you can’t get around your room. If you’ve got a million things on your mind (trust me, I know all about it), you can’t focus on one thing. If you’ve got 50 project deadlines coming up, you can’t stay calm.
Your environment can directly or indirectly affect you, so it’s crucial that you keep everything neat and tidy. Of course, it’s not going to look picture-perfect all the time, but it’s a good idea to keep it looking nice on a regular basis.
If you need help organizing your space, I’m writing a post all about it. In it, I give you some of my favorite ways that I organize my life and prevent mental clutter, as well as physical clutter. I’ll let you know when it’s available for you to read!
Long-Term Self Growth Tips:
Now I’m going to share some long-term advice. These tips will naturally take a bit longer because they require a higher level of effort and commitment. Plus, they just make more sense as long-term growth lessons since you’ll be doing them your entire life.
Here are 10 long-term self growth changes you can implement throughout your life.
1 – Step out of your comfort zone
You know what they say: “You can’t grow unless you step out your comfort zone.”
And it’s true! How do you expect to grow and evolve if you’re constantly doing what feels comfortable? You can’t (and won’t) grow without facing those seemingly scary challenges.
I’m not saying you need to walk on the moon, but you definitely need to put yourself out there and try something that makes you uncomfortable.
2 – Practice patience
Patience is a virtue — one that can get you surprisingly far if you do it correctly.
I can admit I’m not the most patient person, but I’m working on it because I’ve made some decisions out of pure impatience and I definitely regret them.
If you’re struggling with patience also, I see you. Right now more than ever we have so much instant gratification, and it can be difficult to make yourself wait for something when you could get it sooner.
But trust me: being patient can do wanders for you! We’re in this together, okay?!
3 – Learn to live in the moment
I’m still struggling with this, but I’m slowly getting better.
As such a forward-thinking person, I always find myself thinking about the future more than anything. Even if I’m at work, I’ll be thinking about what I’m going to do when I get home. Or if I’m at a concert, I’ll be thinking about how sad I’m going to feel when it’s over.
But the problem? Since I’m thinking about the future, I’m missing what’s happening right there in the moment.
Life’s painfully short in hindsight, so soak up every moment while it’s happening!
4 – Find a hobby you love
I love hobbies! No, like, I actually love them and don’t know what I’d do without them.
After a long day at work, all I want to do is relax in bed and indulge in a few of my favorites which, at the moment, are scrolling on Substack, listening to music, daydreaming about my future, and spicing up my Pinterest boards. I actually do a little something like “hobby stacking,” where I do multiple hobbies at a time. It launches my dopamine through the roof for a good 30 minutes or so. There’s nothing like it!
I think you’re cool if you have tons of hobbies — especially ones you wouldn’t think about, like designing graphics or collecting CDs. Oh, or even those craft-related hobbies! I definitely want to try one someday. Maybe punch needling? That sounds fun and relaxing.
If you need help finding hobbies, I’m writing a post full of hobbies you can try. I’ll be sure to update this post once it’s ready to read! Whether you’re really into sports or are an avid reader, there’s all kinds of hobbies to try!
5 – Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Why? Because it starts to feel quite exhausting when you keep comparing your skills, personality, and abilities to everyone else’s.
But what if you shifted that energy into sharpening and appreciating your identity? That’s just a little perspective to think about.
6 – Reduce your perfectionist tendencies
I want you to reduce your tendencies rather than completely stopping because I think it’s difficult to just STOP being a perfectionist. It’s possible, but it’s going to take some time and commitment.
Until then, try to reduce your tendencies. For example, instead of telling yourself a project needs to be “perfect,” sit with it for a moment and let it live as it is. Remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be the final product, and you can always improve it later.
Even this blog post probably won’t look the same in 2 years, and that’s okay! If anything, I’d be concerned if it didn’t look at least a little different.
7 – Take action
This is HUGE… like, almost bigger than my love of journaling. And you already know how I feel about that by now!
Like I said earlier, a common problem in personal development culture is a lack of taking action.
I feel like, for many reasons, we get so caught up planning stuff that we forget to execute those plans. We spend so much time planning what workouts we want to do, how we’re going to reinvent ourselves for the new year, or try to wait until the “perfect time” to move to a new city. While planning is important, all of that meticulous preparation is practically useless if you don’t do anything with it.
So the next time you find yourself spending a little too much time planning something, try to tell your brain that it’s time to shift into “action mode” — the mode where you finally put everything to action and see all your plans unfold.
If you don’t know how to take the first step, that’s what this entire blog is all about. I write about every young adult experience you could imagine, so all you have to do is search my site for a topic and I can almost PROMISE you I’ve already written about it (just not right now because we’re currently rebranding, hehe). And if I haven’t discussed it yet, you better believe I will in the (near) future.
8 – Slow the heck down!
I’ve been seeing this on TikTok lately and I HAD to write about it. I saw a few videos where people would talk about the importance of slowing down. When you’re constantly in “go mode,” everything is going so fast and you don’t have time to process anything you’re doing or feeling.
Whether it’s your morning routine, your commute to work, or simply indulging in one of your hobbies, I encourage to slow the heck down.
Your nervous system is going to feel, um, nervous if you keep living as if you’re got somewhere to be every five minutes.
9 – Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries are key to a strong, healthy relationship, meaning if you don’t have them (or if they’re weak), that’s going to reflect in all of your relationships.
I often struggle with communicating my boundaries with people and they end up mistreating me. But I almost can’t even blame them because they didn’t know!
This is a major thing I’m working on in my growth journey. I’m at the point where I know I need them; I’m just having trouble communicating and enforcing them.
10 – Be kind to yourself
I recently went through a period where I was my biggest enemy. Anytime I did something I wasn’t proud of, I’d bully myself to the point I felt belittled. And let me tell you, that’s no way to grow… at all! I know it seems harmless (some call it “tough love”), but there’s a fine line between being assertive with yourself and being straight-up mean.
Instead of being your own biggest bully, be gentle and kind with yourself. Practice self-compassion and talk to yourself in a kinder, more caring way. Because all that self-hatred does MUCH more harm than good, and you might as well shift that energy into something positive and uplifting.
Recap
Today, we talked about how to improve yourself. I shared 16 lessons that I’ve learned on my personal development journey so far.
Remember that this is a lifelong journey. There’s no endpoint! There will be many ups and downs, so you can’t expect to always be happy and 100%.
It’s important to keep a growth mindset through it all.
Now that you have some of these tips, I encourage you to apply some of them to your life.
Time to Take Action
Now it’s your turn. I want you to go back and skim some of the tips I provided in this post, and brainstorm one way you’re going to implement the advice in your life.
For example, if you’re looking to stop comparing yourself to others, maybe you’ll change your perspective and embrace that we’re all different and have various skills, experiences, and ideas to bring to the table. This mindset change will allow you to tap into your unique self.
Here’s a journal prompt you can respond to:
Comparison is the thief of joy. In what ways do I compare myself to others? Why do I do this, and what can I do to feel more unique and confident in my abilities?
Feel free to share your plan in the comments. Talk about how you currently handle the situation and share your plan to improve that aspect of your life.
Here at The Starform, we’re all about community, so I greatly encourage you to share your story!
As always, if there’s something I didn’t describe something enough or there’s a topic you wanted me to explore, don’t hesitate to ask! Leave a comment, email me, or shoot me a DM on Instagram and I’ll be more than happy to share everything I know.
Until next time, keep shining, Star — one day at a time.
